Gaining Pounds

Potty Training

2012-02-08T21:11:00.002-05:00

I said I would wait until he was three. I said I would wait until after we returned from traveling next month at least. My strategy was to not have a strategy. I thought that if I just casually mentioned the potty from time to time (like four times a day), and if I didn't pressure him to use it (except to bribe him with matchbox cars), then he would just one day wake up and ask to use it and I would not have put any effort into potty training at all. I figured that if I started talking about it now, he could just take the next few months to think it over and formulate his own plan. Look, I really want him potty trained, I just didn't want to potty train him.

The thing I didn't count on from this whole non-plan was that it would work so quickly. One day I was monologuing about underwear to him and happened to mention that there was statistical evidence that a person could run nearly three times faster wearing underwear over diapers. I also quoted the sage, Henry, from the time honored classic "The Potty Book for Boys". He states, "I'm a big boy now, I can run and jump and play. I don't want a wet diaper to get in my way." The illustration on this page clearly shows Henry running much faster than he was three pages back wearing his diaper. That was the clincher. Jude put on a pair of underwear and ran up and down the hall (really fast) for a half hour while I folded laundry and congratulated my unsuspecting self.

Since then, which was about a week ago, we have been engaged in what I can only describe as an in depth, nearly scientific, exploration of bodily fluid. Now, my parents will tell you that when I was a child I would cry if I got my hands dirty until they cleaned them. I may or may not still do that. See, diapers I have never loved. But at least they are absorbent and have a waterproof outer, and armed with a pile of wipes I can count on one hand how many times in the past two and a half years that I have actually made contact with any...er...fluid. I'm really careful.

He's been great for the most part. My non committal approach seemed at first to have been golden. He wet his underwear just once in the beginning and just a little. He figured out quickly that he had the power to hold it and would do so until I made him sit on the potty. Day two he was telling me when he needed to go. I was about to start writing my book, "Lazy PottyTraining, They'll Go When They Want To" when the poo hit the fan.

I'm not going to go into tremendous detail here, I don't think my fragile tactile sensibilities can handle the painful memories. The last two days have humbled my potty training victory considerably. All of a sudden he has become afraid to poo. I mean, red faced, shaking, screaming, tears, bucking bronco petrified. He actually held it for two and a half days. And this kid is way beyond "regular". Needless to say he was pretty uncomfortable. When it became apparent that it was coming out whether he liked it or not, we had to cancel our plans for the day. All day. We stayed in and he screamed and pooped. All day. And we went through six pairs of underwear. And I emptied the potty 5 times. And there was an incident that ended with both of us in the bathtub. On a scale of 1 to delightful, potty training has been truly disgusting.

Now, I think we've turned the corner. I'm praying he doesn't regress when we travel. Regress. That's a term used a lot in potty training, apparently it happens enough. His diapers have been dry after naps and in the morning but I'm not ready to go there yet. I packed away the cloth diapers, there is no going back. My favorite part is that he is unbelievably cute in his tiny underwear.

Boxer briefs.

Ok, the underwear picture is at the bottom, I'm still trying to figure out how to edit my blog with the iPad. Here are some Wren pictures in a crazy mismatched outfit. I'm not sure what happened that morning...

Christmas

2011-12-27T21:32:00.007-05:00

It was so good. I thought Kevin was going to cry every time I turned around, he kept saying what a great day it was. I think it was a sort of coming of age for us as a family. Last year we didn't go home because we couldn't, but this year we could have gone but chose not to. I feel like we are kind of sinking into ourselves as a family, I mean in a good way. Instead of being an appendage to our extended family, we are becoming more and more that separate family unit everyone talks about. I feel ok about this, in ways that I didn't think I would. Maybe it has something to do with the kids, or maybe I'm finally maturing in this area. I suspect it's the former, though. Instead of making decisions the way that I am used to, based on how i feel or what I want, I find myself making them using this more complex equation that involves three other people. It's good. It's good for me. In the great and lengthy history of parenting this is common, I'm just catching up.

My birthday was a week before Christmas, it was a really nice thirty-third. I came downstairs that morning to "Birthday" by the Beatles (they say it's your birthday, it's my birthday too) playing on my new iPad! These are the only pictures I got, Sunday morning during our home fellowship. Evelyn made cupcakes and here is Jude surprised to find icing all over his hand after petting one.

This is a picture of that very brief time of all our lives when paper and ribbon are exceedingly more satisfying than what it contains.

I just love this little face.

When we decided to stay here for Christmas, Evelyn decided to come up and spend it with us. We were so excited and grateful that she would do this. It definitely took the edge off our lonely little Christmas. She spent lots of time holding Wren and watched the kids several times while Kevin and I went out, it was so great. She was here for two weeks and when I told Jude that she was leaving and that we were sad, he said, "we are sad, we will cry."

A lot of excitement about this nice bag Aunt Bek got for Jude and Wren.

I think Kevin got something he likes here.

Big boy watch.

I failed to get a great picture of the presents under the tree. This is the best I've got. Check out that sled! Too bad we haven't had snow to use it in yet. Here are the present highlights: Mimi and Papa gave Jude a cool sled and Wren some pretty clothes. Oma and Opa gave Jude perhaps his favorite Christmas toy, these cool cars called Automoblox that he can take apart and put back together. And they gave Wren this neat walker that converts into a riding toy and a shopping cart as she grows. Grandmom gave Jude and Wren some nice clothes and books. Kevin and I gave him a structure for his wooden train set, the sheds for the trains to "sleep" in.

Oh yeah, baby doll! So excited about baby dolls.

Oh, This and That

2011-12-03T20:48:00.007-05:00

The weather was so great last week, we took some nice walks down by the lake. They are always happy to be outside. Oh man, what am I going to do with these kids this winter???

We did have one day of snow recently and then it went away. But not before this masterful wonder of wonders was built. With a corncob (omitted) pipe, and a button (carrot) nose, and two eyes made out of coal (rocks).

We did our Christmas decorating early, the week before Thanksgiving. Since we are staying here again this year I just felt like getting an early start.

Jogging

Ok, that was a short jog.

This picture is over a month old, but it's a cute dress our friend, Glorianne, made for Wren. I get lots of compliments when she wears it.

Daddy Duck, Mommy Duck, Jude Duck, and Wren Duck. And also a 5th random duck. Please don't give Jude any more ducks, he has enough.

One of Jude's favorite activities is greeting Wren when she wakes up from naps by snuggling up in bed with her. But he has to have covers and he just can't fathom why she doesn't sleep with them.

Three in a chair.

Burlington has lots of parades. You would think that the day after Thanksgiving's parade, where Santa enthrones himself at the mall, would be a good one. 1 firetruck, 1 police car, 1 utility vehicle, 6 old men with tubas and french horns, and Santa on a poney = the world's lamest parade. Suckers...

This was fun, though. The pre-parade lineup had the kids swarming to see the firetruck.

We love going downtown in the evenings, there is usually some sort of spectacle. I really can't imagine what it must be like to do a handstand on top of 4 stacked chairs and a table. Over concrete.

Ok, here we are about to enter Ben & Jerry's.

Here he is after the first bite.

Big bite.

And here we are after consumption.

I don't have too many Halloween pictures, but here is one that I thought was funny. We went over to Jude's best buddy, Augustina's neighborhood to trick or treat. Don't my kids look really into this?

I'm Not Funny

2011-11-15T21:33:00.013-05:00

Jude gets frustrated with us when we tell him he's funny. Or when we tell him he's cute. Or little. Or just about anything that doesn't begin with "big" and end with "boy." Somehow being funny and a big boy are mutually exclusive to him.

Kevin: "Jude, you are so funny!"
Jude: "Daddy, I'm not funny, I'm a big boy."

Wow, it's been tough the last few weeks with him. Jude is really testing us and trying to figure out how much power he actually has. Some days I really feel like I've reached the outer limit of my patience and grace towards him. He has even had a couple of royal tantrums--the kind that you don't think your precious little one will ever be capable of. I step back (mainly to avoid a heel to the teeth) and just watch him go and wonder where he learned to do that? Then I think about how it would feel to fall deadweight to the floor, thrashing against the Powers that try to thwart my plans (to make Pippin sniff my blanket), crush my deepest longings (to play with my trains until the wee hours of the morning), and impose their tyrannical will on me (to change my poopy diaper). Hmm... I'll let you know.

He is also full of surprises everyday. I just can't believe the things he says and where his mind goes. Nothing Freudian, and maybe not impressive to most people, but just that he is thinking of things that are beyond my suggestion. When we tuck him in at night we will ask him who he would like to pray for. I love hearing who is on his mind that day, it often surprises me. He is also playing make believe now, so fun to watch. Cue flying Thomas.

Here are a couple pictures of Wren. I realized that I have Jude pictures catalogued by month for the first year and a half of his life, like, "Jude 1 Month" and "Jude 13 Months". Wren's pictures so far are catalogued, as "Spring/Summer" and "Fall/Winter." Poor second child.

Summer in Photos, Part 2: Georgia!

2011-10-18T22:58:00.012-04:00

We had the opportunity to go to Georgia for about 2 weeks this summer to see our families. The primary reason we went was to see Kevin's brothers, both of whom live in other countries, but were in the States. The stars aligned and all three of them converged on Marietta, Georgia at the same time!

Here is Jude playing with cousin Everett, it was fun to watch them cautiously playing together...

Standing at attention in front of the Cars movie, a first time viewing experience for Jude. He is still asking to watch the cars. They cracked me up standing like this for so long. They are wearing matching Big Brother shirts because Everett also just became a big brother!
At the Atlanta Zoo with Scott, Brooke and Grandmom
It was pretty HOT, poor baby...
Aunt Brooke braving the goats with Jude

Grandmom took him on the train! It doesn't look like it, but this was one of the highlights of his zoo experience!
Evelyn has a nice pool in her condo complex
Oh, the boys
We stayed at my mom's house and then drove to meet Evelyn each day. Scott and Brooke stayed there as well since Brian and Noelle and their 2 kids were at Evelyn's. One day Mr. Pounds came over to spend the day with the boys. They had fun playing in the yard.

They were so funny. They kind of "politely" fought over things.

"And I'm just so afraid that one day my belly is going to hang down here if I keep eating chips and salsa at the rate I've been going."

We had a nice time staying with Oma, she has lots of toys and there were always people in and out.

Wren: "Opa is so funny!" Opa: "Don't you dare spit up on me."

The piano, magical instrument.
Oma and Opa had a great pool on the deck. Jude and cousin Lyla loved it. Here you can see what will become a quarter hour of Jude drinking water out of this bowl.

Again with the piano
After a week with the Pounds' and Wolcotts', we headed over to the Conley's to visit with my Nanny who was in town from Texas. We took advantage of the event by hiring Christy Parry to take pictures! If you live in the Atlanta area, she is amazing, call her to take pictures of your family!

Here is my gorgeous Nanny, she loved holding Wren

Jude wasn't sure what he was supposed to do whenever the camera came his way

Bekah and Jared, awww!
Shannon and Lyla (miss you, Austin!)
And again, the piano

Lovely!

Summer in Photos, part 1

2011-10-14T20:36:00.004-04:00

What a summer. I mean, what a summer! I cannot believe all that we did this summer, it was truly wonderful. Here are about a million pictures, mostly of ALL the VISITORS we had over the summer.

My mother was the first to arrive and the longest to stay. I wanted her here for when Wren was born, but that is always tricky when you don't know when the baby will arrive. Since she works from home she decided that she could just come 2 weeks before my due date and leave 2 weeks after it. I just couldn't believe it, Kevin and I were both so excited (and relieved) to have her so long. It was the best thing we could have done for Jude, I think his transition to having a new baby was much easier since Oma was around. And when she went back to GA I was left marvelling at the sudden bulk of dirty dishes that weren't miraculously cleaned every night. I just can't say enough about how helpful she was, we were very blessed by the time she spent here with us. I cried (as usual) when she left, it just felt very natural to have her around.

I love this picture, it about sums it up. Oma is soooo FUN and Jude just loves her.

Overdue, we took some long walks

Mom did this in Wren's room

Touch a Truck Day

Oma trying real hard to convince Jude that Wren is a good thing

Ok, we have a cemetary accross the street from our house... AGAIN!

Then my sister, Rebekah came for a week. Sooo fun with "Aunt Bek." Jude loved her immediately. She jumped right into our chaos as if she belonged there. We did lots of things, including throwing a baby shower, hiking, strawberry picking, and biking (Kevin took Bekah on a bike tour and then she ventured out solo another day). She left a lasting impression on Jude, he often asks to call Aunt Bek on the phone. And we can't eat a strawberry without him saying something about picking them with her.

Went on a little waterfall hike

Lovely walk by the lake

The aforementioned strawberry picking.

Friend Stephanie with Jude's best buddy, Augustina came too.

And then came Grandmom. Grandmom's visit was special because she came during Jude's birthday! We had such a great time, she really enjoyed holding Wren a lot and doing crafts with Jude. She did ALL my dishes everyday and we just had the best time. It truly felt like a relaxing vacation for us all. This is the awesome tractor that she bought for him at the farm we visited.

I love this picture of Kevin with his mom

King Jude, age 2

Wilton train pan, 3 loaf pans, star icing tip, and 1 carpal tunnel syndrome later...

Grandmom spent a lot of time holding Wren.

We took Jude to a great local farm, he loved seeing all the animals.

We also went on a touristy cruise around Burlington, it was even educational!

Next some dear friends from NJ came to spend the weekend with us. David, Kevin, Whitney, Josh, Frank, Rosy

Sunning

Um...

David and Kevin led worship for us on Sunday morning, it was so nice to hear them again. Of course, Jude LOVES it when David plays the guitar with him.

THEN, the next weekend we headed down to NJ ourselves. Kevin taught on Sunday morning at the Point. We saw some lovely friends, visited our favorite spots, but were ready to get back "home" to VT. Jude buckled down for the long car ride with some light reading about trucks and trains.

Next we had Mimi and Papa come to town! We had such a special fun time with them. We did lots of things, farmer's market, Summervale picnic, shopped Church Street, beached, kayaked. I'm so glad that they liked Burlington, we were not ready for them to leave! Here we are on Church Street watching some street performers.

We spent a morning at the beach, Wren wiped out on the sand. We had a picnic breakfast and Dad and Kevin went for a ride on the kayaks.

Jude loved playing with Mimi in the sand.

One evening we went to a weekly summertime event in a farming area of Burlington, called the Intervale. They have live music and several local restaurants set up booths with good food to purchase. This was a lot of fun, a relaxing evening.

Oh my goodness, Jude immediately wanted to hang out with Papa from day one. He went right to him and sat on his lap and started showing him things. He looooves his Papa.

We had so much fun with them, here is Mimi acting like the coolest thing in the world to do is push around little trains on a big map.

Part 2 to come of our time in Georgia.

I am Mother, I do not Sleep

2011-10-03T15:15:00.020-04:00

I found myself chanting something in my mind in the wee hours of the morning as I swayed with a crying Wren. "I am Mother, I do not sleep, I am Mother, I do not sleep." When I became aware of my mantra, the hilarity almost woke me up cold. Almost. I wasn't even sure that I was awake or how I came to be in her room at 2:30am in the first place. I couldn't remember walking the hall or picking her up. Somehow those words made me feel better about missing those precious unconscious zzz's.

The craziest things enter my mind during those semi-awake moments with Wren. Like, last night when she woke up just 2 hours after the last wake up session, I felt like crying in my exhaustion. I remember walking down the hall and thinking, "Christin, just cry in your mind, it takes too much energy to cry real tears." Usually I will sit down and feed her and I have to remind myself that she will fall right out of my arms if I fall asleep in the chair.

Since my brain is operating at about two-thirds capacity under sleep deprivation, I've noticed that my internal dialogue has gotten a lot simpler from it's usual convoluted web. For instance, one word has been leaping from the fray at the most unusual times, not even giving me the courtesy of a complete sentence: season. My living room is a wading pool of cars, trucks and trains, I think to myself, "season." Wren wakes up like clockwork every two hours of the night, I yawn a weary, "season." Jude has a tearful and desperate meltdown over the emptyness of his milk cup, then over having to eat chicken, then over the taking away of the chicken, I shriek, "SEASON!"

There are also those other moments. Wren only wants to be held in the middle of the night, no other arms will do. I drag myself down the hall and hold her close with my lips to her soft head, "season." Jude still wants to "Mommy snuggle you" and I climb under the covers with him, even if I have a million things to do, and we go forehead to forehead, nose to nose, "sweet season."

Some Things to Speak of

2011-08-10T12:27:00.000-04:00

Jude is growing so fast, everyone says the same thing about their kids, it's total mommy jargon, I know. I will tell him a new word just once and I can see his little sponge wrap itself around it and soak it in. A few weeks ago I heard him calling from upstairs over and over again. I finally realized what he was saying, "Christin! Christin!" The past few days the new phrase has been, "that is so funny!" Everything is "so funny." He has also taken up something that I say a lot (didn't know I said it a lot), "oh, man." As in, "oh man, firetruck is loud!" Or, "oh man, I eat crackers!"

Speaking of crackers. Does anyone else not understand what compulsion drives a 2 year old to those little crunchy squares? They are a fairly new staple in our house these days, I have never been a cracker-eater. Jude is a little obsessed with them, and they are a rather convenient snack, unfortunately. It's much easier to throw some in a bowl than to cut up an apple or strawberries (ok, that sounds lazy). Look, we pick our strawberries around here, I'm tired from picking, I don't feel like cutting.

Speaking of picking strawberries. There are so many great fun things to do here. I am still literally in awe of what I see whenever I leave my house. I was talking to my neighbor the other day and we both were saying how we couldn't believe we get to live here. This is how it is in VT in the summertime. Everyone gets a little giddy and full of themselves. We say things like, this is so worth the cold months. I actually had someone tell me that the high cost of living here is like a luxury tax. Every Saturday we walk downtown to the farmers market. Live music, farmstands, art booths, food vendors, jasmine rice with curried vegetables and steamed dumpling, $3. We also walk to the beach on Lake Champlain, right across the street from our house. Jude and I have taken to going in the mornings when the sun is still behind us. I sit under this great tree on the sand with Wren and Jude splashes around with his bucket and shovel.

Speaking of time with Jude. I took Jude on a date the other day, Kevin stayed home with Wren for several hours. I have been feeling a little disconnected from him lately and Kevin suggested I spend an afternoon just the two of us. We went on his first ever trip to the movie theater and saw Winnie the Pooh. My little guy is pretty sensitive, he's scared of anything even remotely thematic. So when the trailer for the Disney documentary about chimpanzees came on, he buried his head in my shoulder and squirmed and cried. I thought maybe I had made a big mistake by bringing him there, but when the movie started he seemed to really like it. Then we had some good froyo at Ben & Jerry's and did happy dances around trees on Church Street.

Speaking of happy dances. Kevin took Jude on his first kayak ride. Jude did the happy dance when he saw the boat and jumped right in. Wren and I took a nap on the beach while the boys boated. Jude was fast asleep by the time they came back into the beach. THEN, that night Kevin set up the tent in the backyard and they slept out there all night! This kid loves the great outdoors, just like daddy. Our neighbor Vicky and her 2 hids joined our camping party that evening and we roasted s'mores over a fire pit. So fun.

Speaking of s'mores. A couple of weekends ago 6 great friends from NJ came to see us! They brought a backyard cookout with them, including lots of good s'mores. Saturday, farmers market for lunch then beach and kayaking, then nighttime cookout. Sunday, home fellowship meeting at the park overlooking the lake, picnic, worship. God blessed and refreshed us by bringing these lovely familiar faces to Vermont.

Speaking of lovely faces. Wren is smiling these days! Smiling and laughing, it just floods my heart with good things. She gets so distracted when I pull out the camera, but I managed to capture these pictures of happy smiles.

And speaking of happy smiles. Jude has a new best buddy here in Vermont that illicits lots of happy smiles. Augustina is is special favorite these days, she's a few months younger than Jude and they play together so well. They ask for each other on days that they don't see each other, it's way too cute. There is a picture of a baby on the side of a diaper box that we have that Jude thinks is Augustina. The other day we were walking down the stairs and Jude says, "Augustina no fall down the stairs." Ok.

I can't believe You did this

2011-08-09T21:49:00.000-04:00

I said this to God today while I watched her sleep. Sometimes I am just in awe.

We Have Found the Messiah

2011-07-26T21:51:00.011-04:00

Andrew. He told his brother this when he met Jesus and they both stopped what they were doing and began following him, living with him. It's a funny thing to say, we have found the Messiah. As if they were searching for him, as if he was hiding. As if he didn't show up just when he meant to.

We have found the Messiah. Did they really expect to be the ones to see him first? Were they surprised at the find, or did they always have faith that he would show? We have found the Messiah. They had sought him, looked around, prayed for him to come perhaps, turned over stones, followed leads, investigated rumors, hoped in gossip, examined their own hearts.

We have found the Messiah. I wonder if they looked in the sky for him, or if they imagined that he would be so ordinary, found under a rock. How did they recognize him? What gave the fisherman the confidence to make such a statement? We have found the Messiah. Their joy overflowed even as they questioned him, seeking to prove him. They knew what they had found, a costly pearl, a mustard seed.

We have found the Messiah. But I don't always look for him. I wait for him to find me. I believe others are better Messiah hunters than I. Sometimes I don't believe that I can be The One to find Him. Lord, forgive me for not searching for you in all my days, all my hours.

John 1:41

At the Stroke of Midnight

2011-06-21T08:40:00.000-04:00

That is when my contractions started the day before Wren was born. Earlier that day my mom and I had gone in for a routine blood pressure test and almost not made it out. My bp was a little elevated and they wanted to admit me that day. I was so sad and surprised, I had really hoped not to be induced this time around. I was only 3 days past my due date and was feeling very confident that she would come on her own. Everything felt completely different, she just felt ready to be born. Plus, I had been 4cm dilated for over a week. I wanted them to give me more time but settled for agreeing to come back early the next morning.

Kevin and I went out to dinner that night, my nerves were starting to get the best of me. There was some discussion about what we would like to have for our "last meal." On our way to have Jude, we stopped and had a burrito at Chipotle (I should say that Kevin had the burrito, I was lucky there was a Jamba Juice next door). Kevin suggested we go to this "restaurant" he had been wanting to try. This is what I heard, "it's an old gas station that has been turned into a surfer themed Hawaiian diner." No. We splurged and went to a Hibachi grill instead. We got our car washed. I'm not sure why that was such a priority, but I insisted it had to be done, it was on my list of things to do before the baby was born. Check.

We made some phone calls and sent some text messages, asked people to pray for the induction the next day. Fortunately for me, a few people decided to pray another way, that I would go into labor that night instead. Has God ever given you some really great thing and then you realized that it was something you should have asked Him for? I'm not always sure what it is, but there is something in the asking that we are meant to have, regardless of His response. Just the asking, anticipating an answer, tethers us closer to God's heart and also reveals His Fatherly love for us. What a familiar exchange we are meant to have with God, as if He listens when we speak and gives when we ask! I'm sorry to say I forget to ask quite frequently. By my second contraction it occured to me that God was giving me the desire of my heart, even when I hadn't the courage to ask.

Well, the contractions came on strong and increased quickly. An hour and a half after they started we were at the hospital. Kevin promptly fell asleep in the robo-chair, wake me when it gets tough. I wish I could chronicle every detail, but I won't bore you. I will just say that it was a beautiful contrast to my first birth experience. My labor steadily increased in difficulty over the next several hours. The room was dark and quiet, I had a sweet nurse that stayed in the room with us the entire time. I eventually woke Kevin and our midwife somewhere between 3 and 4 am as things got more serious. Now, I told everyone there that I wanted to try and do this without an epidural, so no one even mentioned the word or offered me anything the whole time. As the labor progressed I started thinking that maybe I wouldn't be able to do this without it, and there were definitely several moments that I really believed I wasn't going to make it, whatever that means. Thinking back on that night it strikes me that there were very few words uttered the whole time. Even in the intensity of the last couple of hours, the peace remained and I felt totally supported. Only 3 people were in my room the whole time I was there, they were all very encouraging. With Jude I felt like it was an episode of ER or something, there were doctors, nurses, midwives, and even unexpected guests in and out constantly.

I was able to labor some in the tub, something I wanted to do with Jude, but couldn't. That helped a lot. When it was time to push, I got out of the tub and within a half hour and 4 pushes, she was here! For all the simplicity of that summary, I should mention that the pain was more than I thought I could bear. I have never in my life experienced anything like it, and I probably never will again. I hope not to be too graphic for you, but I also want to say that being able to feel the birth of my child, without anything to deaden the sensation, was the single most humbling, awe inspiring experience of my life. The memory of that day, I think, I can hold onto for life. It spoke to me of a very complex Creator, a very intimate and personal God.

And then there she was, in all her pink perfection. As with Jude, I just looked at her a lot and wondered who she was. Unlike with Jude, the nurse let me hold her for over an hour before they took her to weigh and measure. That day my mom and Jude came to see her. You know that didn't last too long. Once the novelty of the hospital bed wore off, Jude was ready to get out of there, and he didn't care if I came or not! Fortunately, we were able to get the midwife to sign us out to leave after just 24 hours.

This is a couple of hours after she was born... Eyes opened. Same dark gray as Jude's were when he was born. I guess that means we will have another brown eyed kid!
The classic cell phone shot (replaces the classic handshake shot when you live far away from friends and family)
So, does this seem like a strange way to be discharged from the hospital with a new baby to anyone else? Baby in the carseat on the rolling cart.
Jude was so excited to see us. I love this picture when they came to pick us up from the hospital. This is about where his cheerfulness ended, at least for a few days. I'm happy to say that Jude has leveled out considerably and we are in a nice new big brotherly way.

Mom and I went searching for a take-me-home outfit for Wren, but couldn't find a single thing. Ok, we didn't actually think of doing that until a couple of days before she was born. I didn't have anything like that for Jude either, so it just never really occurred to me. Anyway, I went into the drawer for the cutest comfy thing I could find and the winner was an adorable hand me down from Courtney's little girl, Carolina. You can't really see much of it here, but trust me, cute.

Wren Constance

2011-06-02T20:25:00.016-04:00

She's the sweeetest thing. We all love her, I can't believe she is here and she is ours. She sleeps a lot, cries when she is hungry, is very, um, "regular", and I guess that is about it. You may think this sounds like a very normal baby, but I wouldn't know. In contrast, Jude slept only in 45 minute increments, cried whenever he was awake, and ok, being "regular" may run in the family. I was preparing myself for the sleepless nights and all of the other hard things that I remembered coming with a newborn, but Wren has been a low-decibeled sweet surprise.

Ah, but don't think it has been easy. I am TIRED, but it's not from lack of sleep; and there has been A LOT of crying, but not from a newborn. I have been telling people with a smile and a nod that Jude is going through an "adjustment" period. Most people smile and nod back in mutual understanding and then I don't have to tell them that I'm not as patient as I seem and could crack at any minute under his "adjusting" ways. Have you ever seen Dumb and Dumber? There is a scene where one guy goes, "hey, do you want to hear the most annoying sound in the world?" You can hear it here at the Pounds house coming from a two year old. He's having a hard time, he just doesn't know how to express his displeasure at not having my undivided attention. To be honest, it breaks my heart when I can't go to him immediately when he needs something. We've tried to keep things normal for him, but the bottom line is, I can't always do things for him right away.

Here are some pictures of Wren and Jude and the days after we came home from the hospital.

He loves kissing her and patting her hair. He says "hi baby" in this real high pitched sweet voice.

Bathtime is FUN. Jude doesn't mind sharing his bubbles with his little sister, and Wren seems to enjoy her baths.

Here we are on the front porch. Oma was with us for an entire month! She came 2 weeks before my due date and stayed about 2 weeks afterwards. I seriously don't know how we would have managed without her. Before Wren was born, Oma and Jude became best buddies and I got to rest a lot for the last couple weeks of pregnancy. She helped me cook and freeze meals, clean the house, and most importantly, kept my busy 2 year old entertained. Jude LOVES Oma and her "book," (iPad with plenty of kids interactive books downloaded to it).

We had some nice weather a few days after we brought Wren home and thought it was time to get out!You can't come to Vermont without a tour of the Ben & Jerry's factory. Gooood sampling at the end of the tour can be seen here:

I would like to tell you about our birth experience, I think I will post that in a seperate blog along with some pictures from the hospital.

Where We Live

2011-04-14T11:45:00.000-04:00

Burlington, VT, metro-area population 208,055 (one third the population of the entire state), the largest city in Vermont. Yup, that's not very big compared to where we have lived in the past. I've heard it called the big little city because of it's access to shopping, public transportation, the arts, and education that is not found in kind anywhere else in the state. It's home to the University of Vermont, Seventh Generation, Lake Champlain, and brilliantly, Ben & Jerry's. Burlington was Children's Health Magazine's best place to raise a family, and one of National Geographic Adventure's best cities to live and play. It's beautiful here and seems to have it all, really.

Now here is another, lesser known statistic about Vermont. A recent Gallup poll has Vermont as the least religious state in this country, with other New England states coming in just ahead, New Hampshire, Maine, Massachusettes. Check out this article in USA Today:

http://www.usatoday.com/news/religion/2009-01-29-faith-state-survey_N.htm

As I said, they seem to have it all. We sense a lot of pride from Vermonters for their state, which we share to an extent. But as a Christian, it's hard not to feel like we are living in a spiritual vacuum here.

While I am still dealing with my feelings of lonliness and missing our spiritual family in NJ, you should know that we think this city is amazing. If I could just implant a few close friends or family members, I would have nothing to complain about. We live on a very central road with Lake Champlain right accross the street. On a clear day we can also see Mt. Mansfield from our huge backyard. Here is a terrible picture, we have a small view of the lake from our front porch:

Here is our duplex, we live in the middle house on the left side:

We have been taking advantage of the short walk down to the lake a lot, here are some pictures of our cold, cold walks:

Jude seems to like it here, he loves to be outside. We had a couple of miserable walks with him testing out his stamina and tolerance for the cold. Conclusion: over an hour in temps below 20 is a bad idea. Kevin rigged a sled to a backpack to pull Jude in when the snow is high. He also likes to ride in the backpack with Kevin in his snowshoes.

Is it too early to start potty training? A girl can dream, can't she?

One huge blessing has been the Christian community here in Burlington. I really think we have met someone from just about every single church or ministry in the Burlington area, and there aren't many. Unlike in NJ, the Christian ministries here seem to be networked a lot better, at least the people in them all know each other. Within a week of moving here I was invited to join a women's bible study made up of women from several different ministries. I can't say how much this has meant to me, and in many ways, I think my transition would have been much tougher without them. I am still getting to know them, but have connected with a few that I spend time with outside of the group. All except a couple have young children, so we have that in common. I really have never felt so cared for by strangers as I have by these women. They call me to hang out, they invite us over for dinner, they are meeting a need in my life for fellowship and I am thankful. We have also been meeting weekly in our home on Sunday mornings with a terrific group of people who have really bought into this church plant. Brian, Jan, and Steve have been an encouragement each week and we look forward to seeing the church grow from here.

We have also met a refugee family that moved here a month ago from Nepal. They are still learning English, so our communication is very limited. But we have had such a great time getting to know them and helping them adjust to the American way of life. The family consists of a young married couple (18 and 20 years old), who have a 17 month old baby girl. His parents are also here with them, they are actually closer to our age! Jude has had fun with his new playmate and they had us over for dinner the other night. Here are a couple of pictures. We had an amazing dinner, which they served to us without eating themselves, and watched Indian music videos that they enjoy on the computer.

Since I started this post (a long while ago), the weather has gotten so nice and warm! We have been spending as much time as possible outside and Jude couldn't be happier than when he is running around the yard or going on hikes with Kevin. By "warm" I mean 40 and above, by the way. Here is a smattering of pictures of what we have been doing with ourselves over the past couple of months.

In our backyard:

Wearing sunglasses:

Playing house:

Reading about huge red dogs:

Building roads:

Having guests:

Relaxing:

A Richer Life

2011-02-12T14:34:00.000-05:00

My due date nears, May 6 is D-Day. I am happily rotund, crossing over that "she could be just fat" stage into the "oh, look at that pregnant lady" stage. I regret that I haven't had near the time to daydream about my new daughter as I did with Jude, this pregnancy has steamrolled right through like Thomas the Tank Engine. When I think of this little girl, though, joy settles into the pit of my heart and I am content. I'm happy for Jude that he gets to learn to care for a sister, and I'm happy for us that we get to experience the boy/girl difference and sameness.

Jude has been quite a handful these days. Well, if I'm honest, I think he hasn't changed much at all. He is a very intense, serious little fellow, and he has a one track mind for sure. I think he gets it from daddy :) Since crossing over to toddler world, the tantrums have come on full force. I can see so clearly that he isn't trying to be disobedient, but he is testing us on all sides. I am trying to learn how to respond to these without frustration and anger, and without taking the easy way out. I have read several books that have left me feeling empty and confused, all very clinical approaches to discipline. A friend gave me a book called "Don't Make Me Count to Three" and it has been just what I've needed to hear. This woman talks about shepherding your child's heart from the beginning toward Godliness. She has such great insight into how to communicate to your child by helping them understand where their feelings are coming from and then redirecting them. I don't know why, but it never occurred to me that Jude has the capacity to start learning how to be merciful and loving, even at this young age. That's not a good synopsis, but I do recommend the book. I want more than anything for Jude to have a thankful and compassionate heart, and it makes me shrink to think of the responsibility of leading him there. I'm glad that it is God who has complete access to Jude's heart, when his mother's is so limited. It comforts me to remember that Jude was created to commune with God on a very personal level, just like the rest of us, and there is a limit to where my love and influence can reach. I pray he finds that communion at an early age.

I'm not sure how this will go, but I would like to attempt to share something that has been on my heart since even before moving to Vermont. It has been months, maybe close to a whole year that God has been teaching me things about myself regarding where my security lies. I joke that our income has steadily decreased over the nearly ten years that we've been married, but it is really quite true! In the past, I have taken each pay cut as a challenge, made the adjustment, and haven't so much as batted an eyelash at it. Today we find ourselves living on as little as we've ever lived on, and living in one of the most expensive places in the country. For the first time, it's starting to hurt. I have felt something foreign creeping into my heart, I dare to say it feels a little bit like entitlement. I mean, we have followed God from one hard ministry job to another, from one small paycheck to a smaller one, from a small but solid income, to one that may not be there next month. Don't we have a right to expect a nice place to live, a college fund, our modest lifestyle to be maintained? The more I pray and ponder this question, the less sure I am about the answer.

I am very uncomfortable with the conclusions that are forming in my mind. Part of me has a death grip on the security that comes from having excess. And by excess I mean it in it's very literal sense--anything extra at all. I just can't escape the fact that there is at least one thing that I DO KNOW, that we have followed God here. That leads me to believe that God is providing for us in a very intentional way. I also believe that He wants me to learn to depend on Him this time, only on Him. In the past, we have always had just enough to make it through, so I could do my magic act on our budget. Cut our Blockbuster membership, get rid of cable, cut back my phone minutes, nix my gym membership, eat out less, and voila, I did it! I did it.

I will say this one thing, if only to ease my own mind of the arguments it makes against me. We do have a responsibility to pay our bills and, specifically for Kevin, to provide for the family while on this earth. It's a responsibility that he does not take lightly. However, instead of maybe, trying to make money so we can maintain our current standard of living, we are considering the option that bigger adjustments need to be made, bigger sacrifices. As "poor" as we may seem, I have never felt poor, not for one day. Sacrifice has always been one of those things that we hoped we could live up to one day, but never really have. I mean, sacrificing a Blockbuster subscription felt like having to take a half mile detour, inconvenient at best. And still, the word sacrifice scarcely describes even the most radical adjustment we can make to our charmed lives in this great country.

I guess I long to have more. In fact, I long to have something that maybe I've never had, security in something much greater. I want a richer life. I want to want for nothing, even while having little. I want to remember that there are people in this country and especially around the world who have even less, and are hurting, or even dying because of it. But more than that, I wish that I understood how rich I can be in the things that won't leave me. I am rich in God's grace, and his kindness, and his provision. The things that I have are from His hand and they should be precious to me just because of where they came from, not because of what they are.

This nowhere nears the jumbled mess that is swirling through my mind as I pray about my life, but it's a snapshot. I have this feeling that God has good things to give us to replace what He has taken away. Things that are so much more lasting and will be of greater use to us in our struggle to raise our family and minister to this community. I have hope that I'll learn to put my security in a God who became poor so that we could be rich. (2 Corin 8:9)

Here are some recent pictures, Jude LOVES popcorn (just like Mommy):

Sing us a son, Piano Man

Sometimes he's pretty snuggly

I bought Jude a doll to play with to get ready for the new baby. This is the one and only moment that he has been sweet to it. Usually he find the appendages useful for swinging and throwing

One of his favorite activity is lining up all his trucks in a row, all facing the same way, and then systematically rearranging them

The Holiday's and a Some Great Gifts

2011-01-06T16:13:00.000-05:00

This year we stayed here in Vermont for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. We really missed being with friends and family, but it was just necessary. However, we had a nice time holed up in the house on these wintery days, and we even got out a good bit for some parades and activities.

The day before Thanksgiving I was still undecided about whether I wanted to cook for the 2 and a half of us, or go out to eat a traditional Thai Thanksgiving meal of noodles and shrimp with peanut sauce. I woke up that morning with a hankering for tradition and headed to the (above par) supermarket down the street. I cooked all day a meal fit for 6-8 and here is the unremarkable display: Roasted butternut squash with maple syrup (nod to VT), broiled lemon Salmon, garlic and rosemary mashed potatoes, homemade honey wheat bread, and roasted green beans, etc. For dessert, an apple pie, of course.

The day after Thanksgiving we went downtown to see the lighting of the Christmas tree and a parade, which consisted of 2 police cruisers, a firetruck, some random people throwing candy, and Santa in sleigh pulled by what appeared to be a donkey.

Once I got over my weepyness of not getting to go home for Christmas, I started looking forward to the idea of a quiet Christmas with just the 3 of us. Christmas Eve I decide I most definitely did not want to cook, and Kevin suggested that we check out the one and only large church in VT, Essex Alliance, for their Christmas Eve service, and then hit Chili's for dinner. 2 Grilled Quesadilla Explosian Chicken Salads and 1 Bottomless Chips and Salsa later, we were stuffed and headed home for Santa duty.

We had a few toys set out for Jude when he came downstairs on Christmas morning, one of which came in a million pieces. Here is Kevin putting this thing together--thanks Oma!! The riding ATV (Fred Flinstone style) proved to be the biggest hit of the morning.

We had a special Christmas, gifts appeared magically under the tree from a week of elfin UPS driver drop-offs. Kevin made us whole wheat pancakes with VT maple syrup, and chicken sausage for breakfast--perfect.

We met another couple that live just down the street from us who invited us over for Christmas dinner. Jim is the pastor of a church in town and he and Stephanie have a cutie pie named Augustina, who is just a little younger than Jude. I made Mac and cheese, roasted brussels, and a lemon tarte to bring over for dinner. We had a great time of fellowship, it was a blessing to be with new friends on Christmas.

The day after Christmas we went on our first ever sleigh ride with enormous Clydesdale-like horses. Great fun.

We also hosted a little drop in dessert party for our neighbors. We just invited the 4 house nearest to us, all of whom we had briefly met. The young married couple that shares the duplex came, as well as the doctor's wife with their 2 young kids from next door. It was really fun to get to know them a little more. I made a lime tarte, white raspberry cream cake, chocolate tea truffles, and almond glazed cookies (remember these, Court?).

Sigh... the holidays are over, but we received one more great gift before the year was out. We found out that we are having a girl, due May 6! I was completely shocked at the news, especially since my ultrasound technicion at my 12 week visit told me it looked like it was a boy. So much for making those early predictions. What a joy and blessing, the Father knows how to give good and lavish gifts.

Confessions of a Homesick Girl

2010-12-13T14:28:00.019-05:00

This truly feels like a confessional today. I am having a hard time but I haven't wanted anyone to know the extent of it. I thought that if I just gave it a few weeks I would start feeling better and this transition would be behind me. I've always prided myself in being adaptable and able to leave something behind with few tears. We have been here a full month now and if anything I am more acutely aware of my lonliness and distance from loved ones. It seems like tears are perpetually dammed behind my eyes waiting for just the right moment to flood, which happens quite frequently. I can't seem to pull it together and just move forward with my life here yet.

There is something that I feel that God may want to teach me through this, and I even think I know what it is. My head can get around it completely, but my heart is just not keeping pace. One thing I know for sure is that we are really blessed. God has always provided for us in every way. You may immediately think financially, and that is so, but also in the closeness of our friendships and family, as well as the people that we are blessed to minister to. There are so many things I can think of that have contributed to our sense of happiness and well being. I find myself conflicted with the knowledge that I have way more than I deserve even while feeling sad and lonely.

This year it looks unlikely that we will get to spend Christmas with our family in GA. Now you see my last post and know that we just spent 2 and a half months there! Yes, well, I wanted to go back for Christmas. I have never been away from them at Christmas and there is something that feels broken inside of me knowing that this is a first. I was reminded that for 3 of our siblings, being with family at Christmas is a rarity. They live in other countries and do not get to come home most years. I know that people all over the place, including several people that we know here in VT, will not be with extended family for Christmas. Again, I understand how this should make me feel better, but I am realizing what a selfish heart I have.

There is a voice deep down that I can barely hear saying this year will be different and good. That this year we can just sit in front of our sorry little undecorated Christmas tree and listen to what Jesus would say to us. Maybe in our solitude we will be in a better position to understand the things that make Christmas worth celebrating. I hope that the silence of this Christmas will help me to hear what I most want to know--that I am not as alone as I think I am.

Here is a video that is totally NOT in keeping with this post. Jude has become really taken with dancing. We aren't sure where he gets it since one of us can't dance and the other one of us won't dance.

Georgia

2010-11-03T15:50:00.000-04:00

Been a while, I know. What can I say, we have been relaxing in the lap of metro-Atlanta luxury with our families. They have heaped indulgence upon hand-and-foot-waiting indulgence upon us, and frankly, I'm not sure I'm ready to leave yet. I may have reverted back to my childhood ways a little and forgotten that I'm actually an adult now and needn't have mom or dad hand me my cereal bowl and orange juice every morning. But really, they have blessed us so much by giving us a place to recuperate and prepare for the next thing, which is Vermont in November.

The best thing about our 2 and a half months here is watching our families interact with Jude. It has been so sweet to see how they have literally changed from strangers to beloved in his eyes. He has grown so much in such a short time and has adapted quickly to his new house every couple of weeks. Here are some of the things that have broadened his little horizons.

On the way down from Jersey we spent a few days at a cabin in Tennessee. Horses and fireplaces were what we were going for... check!

Jude and I spent a few days with my best friend Courtney and her family. Here are some shots of Jude and Finn playing near each other.

Our first family visit was with Evelyn (Grandmom).

She is such a teacher. Here is a picture of the letters and numbers that she taped to her door for Jude to learn. She went over them with him every day, as well as shapes, colors and his name.

Grandmom brought Jude a Halloween card with a window sticker on it. He loves getting cards!

Then we went to my dad's house, Mimi & Papa's. An added bonus was having my cute Nanny in town from Texas for a couple of weeks.

Jude played out in their courtyard a lot. Give the kid a stick and a pot full of dirt and stand back.

Nanny watched his little baby videos with him trying to get a response out of him. He is one tough nut to crack.

Jude did lots of new things--rode on Papa's boat, swam in the lake, and Papa taught him how to play golf with his very own little golf clubs. Papa thinks Jude has real potential based on a fairly accurate swing with good followthrough that occurred one day in his office.

Next we went to my mom's house, Oma and Opa's. This is Jude with his cousin, Lyla, my brother's daughter. Austin is in Germany about to be deployed to Afghanistan, so his wife and daughter will be joining him there shortly. This wagon was a big hit with Jude, he begs to be wheeled around in it. I do too, but with dramatically different results.

Another hit was the plastic bin full of sand.

And running like a madman around the yard. Oma is tireless in her Jude-entertaining antics.

Jude and I went to Texas to visit my mom's side of the family. Here is my Nanny, a four generation shot. Jude loved playing out in their huge yard, stripped down to nothing and put in a bin of water. They had a wagon as well and I think Opa gets the award for most vigorous and incessant wagon pulling.

We didn't get any good pictures of Jude for Halloween unfortunately! He was a chicken, wait, a duck. Ok, we thought it was a chicken when we bought the costume only to be corrected on closer inspection of the beak. It's not as funny being a duck. I think Kevin had more fun than anyone taking him door to door. For a kid who can't eat candy, he scored big time.

As I mentioned, we will be heading up to Burlington in November. Kevin will drive our car up around the second week to hunt and kill an apartment for us. Then Jude and I will fly up the next week to move in. We have some dear friends from NJ that will drive up to help us move in. Thank you, thank you. My next post will come from the great state of Vermont!

Oh yes, one more thing to mention for those that haven't heard yet. We are happily pregnant with number two, due early May. Praise God for this great gift!

Dear New Jersey

2010-07-12T11:39:00.010-04:00

Dear New Jersey,

I have so many things to say as we get ready to leave you. We have been through so much together these last six years. It has been tough at times but I like to think that we won you over in the end. For a while we weren't sure if you liked us or not, but we killed you (murdered, really) with kindness and you didn't have much of a choice but to accept us. I remember pulling in with our U-Haul truck to the three ring circus that was our house closing. It was standing room only in that tiny room with a round table not big enough for all the lawyers, brokers, real estate agents, and us commonfolk. Jersey accents were flying, tempers were high, tears were flowing, and I'm pretty sure someone asked us to do something illegal before it was all over. Welcome to New Jersey, Pounds', you aren't in Kansas anymore.

The first month in our new old house, amid wallpaper stripping and detoxing it from years of cigarette smoke, we slept on a mattress on the floor of our room. I lay awake each night listening to the noise on the street, wondering what in the world we had done, praying for sleep and for the morning to come. Someone would shout and it sounded like they were right outside our window. What were they shouting about at 3 in the morning? This was different.

We would walk down the streets of New Brunswick and pray for the people we saw, not knowing anyone and trying to read their faces--would they accept us, would they accept Him? It was so strange, so full of strangers, but love came quickly to us. We started to see the same faces over and over, started to notice the personality of the city. We became fixtures at Starbucks on George Street, the nexus of the New Brunswick universe. We spoke to the regulars and became part of the inner circle of people who spend most of their working hours plugged in and sipping all day on a Grande mild with Hazelnut.

Good things started happening, God began building his church. Someone was saved and we baptized him in the ocean. We moved from a small apartment to a playhouse, then a hotel, then office space, a night club, a school. We asked you how we could help and you cynically pointed out many needs. Let's see if they really will... You gave us your trust in the end and I think we loved you more for making us work for it.

Thank you for teaching us so much about relationships and service and living in community. Maybe our biggest lesson from you was how to share our lives with our neighbor-what it means to love her as we love ourselves, to give freely to him of our time or money or shelter. You gave us some of the best friends we will ever have. For all of the knocks you get for being brash or quick tempered, we have found friendship in your Kind, Generous, and Loyal.

And there is one more thing that I would like to thank you for. You gave us a son when we thought we may not ever have one. Maybe Jude was like a parting gift that you wanted to give as we were making plans to leave--you wanted us to take some New Jersey up to Vermont perhaps. This kindness I will never forget. I will always be thankful for God bringing us together. And even if this was the only fruit of our lives in New Jersey, I would spend six years all over again to have him.

Oh, New Jersey. I won't miss the jug handles, our gang member neighbors, or the property taxes. I probably won't miss the latino music played loud on my street everyday, or having to move my car on Mondays between 8 and 9 and Thursdays between 9 and 10. I for sure won't miss having to bundle all of our cardboard into 24 inch squares tied with twine for the 3rd Tuesday of the month. But I will miss you.

Jude is 1 and Other News

2010-06-27T14:37:00.012-04:00

And you thought my last post was about Jude's birthday. Well, his actual birthday was just this weekend even though we had the party for him last month. I kept telling people that we were not going to do anything special and that I was just going to get him his very own balloon. But then we woke up on Saturday morning and were reminiscing about what we were doing this exact day one year ago; how we went into the midwife office, found out we needed to run home, pack, grab a bite to eat and head over to the hospital; how Kevin wanted to stop at Chipotle and I thought it was a good idea until we got there, and I decided that habanero salsa and cayenne chicken didn't square with my nerves; and how we were so nervous when we got to the hospital, but even more excited about meeting our son so soon.

So, someone must have spiked our coffee with some sort of parent-love potion on Saturday morning, because somethng came over us that made us want to celebrate. What would Jude really enjoy doing as a live-for-the-moment-no-thought-of-tomorrow guy who won't have any memory of whatever it is afterwards (hedonistic little creature)? We quickly decided on the zoo and headed to Philadelphia for a day that turned out to be, as far as we could tell, the most fun day of Jude's little 1-year old life.

"If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!" Mt 7:11

Clapping at the hippos

Big bleating Pippins

Now for the Other News. I'm sure most of you that read this blog know about how Jude came to us through in vitro fertilization (you can read about it here http://gainingpounds.blogspot.com/2008/12/baby-on-wayreally.html). When we decided to go forward with IVF we felt very strongly about being responsible for whatever embryos that we created. At the risk of sounding ungrateful, I will say, thank God that we have 3 additional beautiful embryos, and no MORE (or less). So in the spirit of populating the earth with Pounds', we are beginning round two. In a couple of weeks I will be starting the hormone treatments and we should know if we are pregnant by mid-August. We'll keep you posted!

Here are some other pictures of Jude from the last month:

In his birthday crown

the daily love fest with Pippin

talking to the grandparents on the calculator

Good buddy Ricky

Birthday

2010-06-01T20:42:00.009-04:00

I always hear mothers say how quickly their children grow up. It seems like every other day, when Jude and I are out, some woman will stop me and say, "enjoy this time, they grow up so fast." Then they tell me how old their "baby" is now--eight years old, seventeen or forty-five. Well, one year has almost come to Jude so we celebrated a little early with two of our dear friends, the Benton's and the Takemoto's. Lennox is 6 weeks older than Jude, and Ricky is one month older, so we threw a joint birthday party at a nearby park. Many good friends came and the weather was just right.

Since I was young, my mom has made beautiful cakes for us for birthdays, graduations, and even weddings! My dilemma was this: I wanted to have a homemade cake for the boys' party, but I knew that it would probably end up looking like they made it themselves. So I figured that I couldn't do much wrong with cupcakes--solid colored cupcakes I can do. It's a caterpillar, by the way. I'm sorry to say that Kevin could not figure out exactly what it was (sorry Mom, I guess I just don't have it)...

The Donning of the Birthday Hats:

Happy Birthday dear Knox, Ricky, Jude...

Cutie pies...

Laura and Mari have been special friends for me, I am so thankful for them. I have needed these friendships and support like never before. They are what I will miss most when we leave this year.

Terabithia

2010-04-20T09:40:00.021-04:00

Across the street from our house is a city park, Baker Park, that we go to a good bit to throw the ball with Pippin or push Jude in the swing. I suppose it's the same with all city parks, but this is one of those places where you would not want to go after dark, and you certainly wear your rubber soled shoes. Other than the more than occasional used condom (um...?), you don't want to be wearing flip flops for fear of stepping on broken glass or a stray needle. Nevertheless there are kids playing there during the day and there is a nice (graffitied) playground, fields for soccer and baseball, and a basketball court that is always occupied.

So one day, about four years ago now, we were at the park throwing the ball to Pippin when we noticed a chain link gate in one corner. I figured that it could only lead to deep dark places, but of course Kevin wanted to check it out. We walked through the gate and down a little dirt path, and all of a sudden the sky cleared and a ray of sunshine fell on our path. Two Robins flew down to us tweeting a familiar song and they were each holding a small wreath of flowers that they dropped down on our heads. Green grass magically spread before us as an ancient Willow tree bowed down, plucked us off our feet, and set us in the middlle of a strange sparkling land.

Well, that's how I remember it anyway. I called it Narnia at first, and then the Secret Garden, and then decided that it was more like Terabithia (minus the rope swing and menacing creatures). It's actually a very old cemetary, full of very old gravestones and very old trees. I asked our neighbor, Bill, if he knew it was there and had ever walked there before. He looked at me like I was crazy and asked, "doesn't it smell?" He's a bit supersticious and apparently doesn't know about embalming.

Usually the only people that we meet on our walks in the cemetary are other dog walkers, whom we greet like we are in some kind of secret society. I get the feeling that they are like us and don't want too many others to find out it's there. There is an occasional Crazy in there too, like the guy who Kevin has seen twice piling up leaves and then diving into them and swimming around.

Kevin and I have had so many important talks here, and now that we are leaving NJ, every walk in the cemetary reminds us that we won't get to take it with us. It's been our end of the day ritual to take a long walk and talk about whatever is important to us at the time. Years ago we talked about maybe starting to try and have a baby. Then we talked about adoption, and then all the implications of in vitro fertilization. Then I dragged my huge pregnant self out there and we read all the names on the graves trying to discover a goodie. We imagined ourselves pushing a stroller along the pathways. Jude's first trip to Terabithia was when he was a week and a half old.

Here are some pictures that we took in our premature nostalgia.

This is the entrance to the park right accross from our house

These are just some shots of Jude tolerating us swinging him. I think he wonders why we get so excited about pushing him in this crazy contraption

Here's Kevin and Jude crossing over into Terabithia through the gate in the corner of the park

Here are some Terabithia shots. Wait, now I'm nervous that i've built it up too much. Disclaimer: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and these beholders live in urban New Jersey where trees are scarce and front lawns are littered with Goya soda bottles and Cheetos bags.

this is a picture of what is right outside one of the gates

Junk yard dog on one edge of the cemetary that would love to get his paws on Pippin

Tomb of Robert Wood Johnson (of the Johnson & Johnson family)

And my personal favorite tomb in the entire cemetary

An Indulgent Post

2010-03-16T12:51:00.016-04:00

This weekend at church a good friend of ours, David D., said something to me about Jude that I don't want to forget. David really loves Jude, it's easy to tell. He said, "You know how sometimes you will read something in scripture that just jumps out at you and makes you feel alive, and you know it's because the Word is living and active? That's the feeling I get when I look at Jude." Something like that. Whoa. I feel that way too. Love wells up inside of me when I least expect it. There will just be a moment when he is playing all by himself, or when he looks at me with recognition and I just think, I am so lucky to be his mom.

David also asked me, "Do you think God looks at us this way?" I can't think of where else we would have gotten this from. Wow, what would change in my life if I really believed that my love for Jude was only a fraction of God's love for me? Does God watch me, like I do Jude, when I'm so unaware of His attention? Does He get that fizzy feeling in the pit of His stomach that is like he is going to dissolve of pure joy at any minute just by watching me?

I literally can't take my eyes off of Jude. I feel like I spend my days just staring at him. I want to catch and catalog every expression and every new thing he does. Fascination is the word. I am glued to this kid, waiting to see what he will do next, like he is a slow moving movie. I try to imagine what it must be like to see a pigeon for the first time (we did that today), or to feel the rain splash in your eyes (we did a lot of that last week). I remember the first time he felt a strong wind in his face. His eyes got really big and he gasped-- like gasped-- and looked at me like, "what was that?" Pure exhiliration.

He's almost crawling (forward), almost pulling up to stand, almost getting his 3rd and 4th tooth. When I talk to him he pays real close attention like I might say a word he would recognize. He loves to be outside, loves Pippin, and thinks hanging upside down is hilarious. Daddy gets the biggest smiles and the most laughs, but he still prefers to be in my arms. I'm ok with this because I know there will be a day when he realizes that Dad is much more fun to hang out with than I am!

So, here is one of those moments when I felt like my heart would burst. He's not doing anything very astonishing, just being cute.

Here are a few other pictures. We more than made up for the rain this week, it was gorgeous out. We spent most of our days outside. He thought it was funny to see me walk in front of the porch while he looked out between the slats.

A Day in the Life of Jude

2010-02-11T14:40:00.021-05:00

Basically I just had a bunch of cute pictures I wanted to share.

Jude has an agenda for each day (someone has to), so we always start out with Staff Meeting in the mornings. Let's see what we have on the docket for today...

First, you can roll that little red car to me over and over again. Then, I may take a nap, but I also might not, let's just keep that hour clear. After that you can change my diaper and then make me laugh by hanging me upside down. Ok?

Ok, that's a wrap.

Next we like to play a little game called, "mommy changes my diaper and then I don't let her put my clothes back on."

I'm smooth like that, I foil her everytime...

W'at up, yo?

We love to open the mail. Hey, there's something here for me!

It's a Valentine from my sweet friend Sara...

I love Sara...

Next we like to watch a little Oprah, she is so bright and pretty... (should I be admitting this?)

Ok, now free time-- play play play! Look at this block, it's a "C" which stands for, Come and get it if you can!

What would you like for dinner tonight? As long as it requires a huge slotted spoon, a whisk, and a good deal of pounding, I can make it...

Hey, there's Pippin. Is that his head or his bottom?

Wait a minute, what? The day is over and I have to go to sleep? Noooooooo!

The Point's 5th Birthday & Burlington, VT

2010-02-07T15:04:00.008-05:00

Every once in a while Christin gives me (Kevin) the opportunity to write on her... I mean our blog. She’s especially cool with it since today our church celebrated it’s 5th birthday, and we made an exciting yet difficult announcement during the worship service.

It’s hard to believe the Point Church turned five. Just like five years ago we were hit with a snow storm this weekend. Five years ago we had a “do over” at launching the next weekend due to the impassable roads- this year we were fortunate that the road crews cleared the roads by Saturday afternoon.

A lot has happened over these past five years. I can still remember the first time Christin and I visited New Brunswick in December of 2003. We had only spent four hours in this city and were both thinking, “this is exactly the kind of place I could see God sending us to plant a church.” Just a few months later in June of 2004 we were packing up and moving our lives from the Atlanta area to New Brunswick.

In those first few months when we just had a handful of people worshiping in downtown apartments, we had some very simple God-given ideas about the church God was leading us to start. We knew God cared a great deal about New Brunswick. We knew He wanted this church to be a safe place to discover the incredible journey of knowing and following Jesus. He wanted this church to become a real spiritual family where we could learn to share our lives with each other. He wanted this church to love and serve this city in the name of Jesus. We have not done any of this perfectly, yet five years later these are more than hypothetical ideas or prayers we hope to see God answer. These ideas are what we see God doing around us every day.

I am blown away by all that God has done- especially in and through the people’s lives He has placed around us. My life, our life, the life of our present and future family members have been forever impacted by these relationships.

One of the most exciting and most difficult parts of this day was sharing with our spiritual family what God is calling us as a church and specifically Christin and I to do next. Last year at the Points’ 4th Birthday Party our pastoral team announced that as a team we’d be looking at several Northeastern cities as the next potential place for the Point to plant a church. Christin and I have always tried to remain open to whatever God wants, but I do not believe either of us foresaw God moving us to lead this new church plant and start the process over again.

It has taken almost a year of prayer, research, and deliberation for God to reveal to us that He wants us to lead a team to plant this new church in Burlington, VT. There are many reasons why Burlington and why us, but I’d rather unpack those reasons in a later post. Let me just say that it’s something like when you meet the person you are going to marry. Sometimes you have a good idea this is “the one” on the first date. Sometimes it takes years and the roller coaster of breaking up and getting back together again before you know. The bottom line, though, is that at some point in time you know because God somehow lets you know. With New Brunswick we knew on the “first date”, but with Burlington it has taken a year long process. One big reason is that we are so attached to the Point Church and New Brunswick, and it has taken God a year to pry my hands away... one finger at a time.

To say this is bittersweet is such an understatement. We are torn inside by God’s leading and our heart for the place we call home and the people we call family. 381 Remsen Ave. in New Brunswick is our home. We love this city and the people our lives intersect with every day so much. This is where we have spent the majority of our married life, where we’ve really learned to live as husband and wife, and where we’ve begun to raise our little boy. The Point is our family- as I often say, “We aren’t like a family. We are a family of brothers and sisters in Jesus.” These are my friends who have supported me as both a friend and pastor these past five years.

I’ll let you briefly know what we know about the future. I plan to step down from my role as Executive Pastor at the end of August. Christin and I then plan to take a two month sabbatical, then move to Burlington in late 2010 or early 2011. We are getting on the roller coaster of church planting for another ride!

In these coming months we have asked our spiritual family to...
Pray- we’ll keep you updated on specific requests, but you can begin by praying for us and the Point as we make this transition in the next few months.

Give- the Point is already committing to help fund this new church, but we’ll be praying for God to lead additional churches and individuals to partner with us financially.

Go- we are praying and looking for a team of committed Christians to move with us to Burlington just as a small team moved to New Brunswick to start the Point.

We’ll keep you updated on what God is doing as we continue on this journey.

***INCLUDED ON THIS POST IS A VIDEO SHOWN AT THE POINT CHURCH’S 5TH BIRTHDAY PARTY. A SECOND IS COMING LATER TODAY.

I Am Certain that I Don't Know

2010-01-31T09:28:00.004-05:00

Jude is 7 months old! I feel like I am getting the hang of this mothering thing in some ways, but there are still times when I don't know what in the world I am supposed to be doing with him. It's like, we wake up in the morning and then I spend the next couple of hours waiting for him to tell me what to do until it dawns on me that, whoa, I am in charge here.

It takes my breath away when I think of how I'm supposed to teach him everything he needs to know to be happy, wise, kind.... Shouldn't I be reading to him more? Mimicking him? Rolling balls to him? Does he need one of those cubes where you put the different shapes into the holes yet? Should I make him stay on his belly for 10 minutes every day even though he doesn't like it? Am I feeding him enough? Too much? Did I leave him in that bouncy seat too long today? Is it going to delay his walking? Does he really need the 1 ml of flouride that I put in his cereal every morning? Why do I feel guilty on cold nights where I get to huddle under quilts in my bed while he sleeps blanketless in his crib? Oh, and speaking of sleep, who knew that getting a baby to sleep was actually under the category of Rocket Science? To cry, or not to cry? Either way, I end up crying.

Sigh. There are moments, though, that shatter my neurosis into a million pieces. I walk into his room every morning and after every nap to be greeted by this huge 2-tooth grin and wiggling legs. Sometimes he even lets out a sigh of relief as if to say, "she came back." Then comes the snuggling--he burrows his little fuzzy head into my chest and sits there awhile as he wakes up. So happy and content. I must be doing something right.

Skinny Latte for the Little Guy

2010-01-20T18:37:00.001-05:00

Hey Jude, revised

2010-01-04T12:00:00.005-05:00

Our good friend David Dabney came by the other night with a beautiful gift for Jude. David is a really wonderful musician and artist and has blessed our church with his original music over the last year. David recorded his version of Hey Jude for us and then came over with his guitar for a little personal concert. Jude loves music and was mesmerized by David and his guitar. The reworked lyrics are below, what a blessing for our son to have this sung over him.

Hey, Jude, don't make it bad

Take a sad song and make it better

Remember to let Him into your heart

Then He can start to make it better

Hey, Jude, don’t be afraid

You were saved by our Lord, Perfector

The minute you let Him under your skin

Then He begins to make it better.

What a blessed giving in, may Jude begin

To seek the One whom he belongs with

And any time you feel the pain, just call His Name

He’ll give you voice to sing a song with

Hey, Jude- we’ll let you down

But there’s One who’ll never fail you

He wants you to love with all of your heart

To let you take part in making earth better

And any time you feel the pain, just call My Name

You will learn as you get older

We spend forever loving you-hey, Jude, We do,

My hand is always on your shoulder

Hey, Jude, don’t you be sad

Put your hope in something better

Remember to let Him into your heart

Then He can start to make it better

I'm Bad

2009-12-19T19:54:00.006-05:00

Like Michael Jackson. Not really, just regular old bad at blogging. My last post was Jude at 2 months and he is nearing 6, so it's been awhile. I just turned 31 (I feel like 30 just happened), and today we went out for my birthday and left Jude with a babysitter for the first time. Actually, 2 babysitters. Two gals from our church, Becky and Pilar, braved the snow and stayed with Jude while we went to lunch and a movie. These gals are awesome, I wish I had taken a picture of them. Jude had a great time and I honestly didn't worry a bit with him in their care.

So we went to lunch and to a movie. Just like old times. Only this time we talked about how last time we talked about what it would be like "next year" with a baby in our lives. Wow, things have changed. Here is a picture of me at dinner enjoying a peaceful moment, unaware that Kevin is not texting, but snapping a photo with his iPhone.

Here are some recent Jude pictures--he's getting so big. He is so much more fun now at 6 months. He is grabbing at everything. Even when he is crying, you can dangle any old thing in front of him and it's like he can't help himself but to reach for it. Kevin definitely gets the biggest smiles out of him, he's so funny. I just love him so much, more than I thought possible. That's what happens though, right? It's hard to describe the feeling of watching this little person soak everything in and learn what it means to be alive.

Here is his first trip to Cracker Barrell, our favorite place to stop when we are travelling

This one is just funny. That's Kevin completely ignoring George Washington.

This is at our good friends house, the Zimmermans, for Thanksgiving. They always invite all of the "familyless" people over for dinner, I think there was somewhere between 30-40 people this year. This was our 3rd year spending that holiday with them.

I met Mari (left) at Starbucks one day with her 6-month old, Ricky. She and her husband came to the U.S. from Japan a year ago and have never celebrated T-Giving before. Laura (middle) is a good friend that we go to church with. She has been such a blessing to me as we both became moms around the same time. We spend a lot of time together each week walking, talking and trying to figure this mothering thing out. Lennox is Jude's first friend.

Here are Jude and Lennox at Starbucks, their favorite hang out spot. They showed up this day wearing the same outfit. Laura and I think they may coordinate with each other since things like this happen a lot with them.

Blessing and a Merry Christmas to you!

Vermont & Jude's 2nd Month as a Human Being

2009-09-10T17:34:00.014-04:00

This is one lucky baby to get to go on 3 trips out of NJ in his 3 first months of life! Month 1: Georgia, Month 2: Vermont, Month 3: (upcoming) Texas. We had a great vacation with Kevin's brother, sister in law and mother last week. Scott and Brooke came up a little early so they could visit NYC. When Evelyn flew in, we loaded up 2 cars and headed up North to a little town called Putney, VT.

Here is the cabin

Let's just get this out of the way.. I think Brooke would agree that this was the BEST thing about the cabin we rented...

The two of us pretty much hogged the hammock the whole week, it was so relaxing. The weather was a perfect 70 degrees most of the week and chilly in the mornings. The porch overlooked 2 little ponds where Scott did some fishing. Scott is actually an expert fisherman, and they do a lot of it on the little island where they live.

We (or some combination of us) hiked, biked, fished, canoed, shopped, cooked, and just hung out around the cabin.

Here are some pictures of the big family hike. Scott in his Evelyn gear, and Evelyn with her game face on:

Kevin, Scott & Brooke went kayaking one day and had a great time. I think they even swam some--Vermont water is frigid!!

We had to take 2 cars to fit everyone, and during the distribution of persons we realized that there would not be a quiet car among us. Jude isn't the best of car passengers yet, and Pippin perhaps never will be. Poor Scott and Brooke got stuck with Pippin and I'm pretty sure they were ready to throw him out the window by the time we arrived. Luckily they made up by the end of the week. I think Scott and Pippin came to an agreement--something like, "shut up or I will hurt you, you punk" is what I may have heard Scott say.

Jude was so happy in the mornings and Grandmom had such a good time holding him.

Ok, here is the sentimental part. I would like to say something about Scott and Brooke Pounds. It was such a blessing to spend a whole week and a half of quality time with them. This was our first chance at some extended time getting to know Brooke. They have been married for a few years now and are living as overseas workers on a very remote island a long, long way away.

One night we got to talking about being called to be overseas workers as compared to other callings that God leads Christians to. Scott and Brooke really believe that they are not doing anything any greater than other Christians who are called to a particular life. I definitely agree that we all have a vital role to play right where we find ourselves, and that we aren't all called to do the same thing--like becoming a career overseas worker. But, I've just been thinking more about it and I believe there is something special and remarkable about them--something that makes them stand out among us, and I don't think it is a bad thing to say it out loud. It shouldn't diminish our own callings as believers to recognize these people who are on the front lines in this war for souls.

I mean, not every Christian is willing to go to a country where they could get hurt or killed for sharing the Gospel with the natives. Think about the parts of the world where Christians live--we definitely congregate together leaving huge areas completely uninhabited by believers. Surely God would have us go there sooner and in greater numbers than we are, right? There are just so few of us willing to "go" and it makes me wonder if God has actually called a lot more of us than are willing. It's worth thinking about, anyway.

Anyway, Scott and Brooke are just what you would hope for in an overseas worker, or really, in a Christian. Humble and grateful, imperfect and know it, and willing to get their hands dirty doing...well, whatever it takes. That is a funny way to put it, I know, but I just mean that these are people who are doing what Christians should be doing--wherever they live and work. They are making a real difference in the spiritual world. I just want to do the same here in NJ.

(sorry if I embarrased you guys! We just love you and are proud of what you do!)

Now, I'll leave you with a few 2-month old Jude shots

Jude LOVES his changing table, we usually spend about 15 minutes on diaper and clothing changes. He thinks being in the nude is hilarious, and I guess I do too!

This is how I find him in the morning when he is ready to wake up. He lays very rigid and still and looks all around. When he sees my face for the first time, he grins and wiggles. I like to think that he is just so overcome with love and adoration for his mother! Looks like he is almost too big for the bassinet, next stop: Crib!

And here he is on Game Day with his UGA bib. It's a little askew, but he was especially wiggly in anticipation of the Dogs that I couldn't get a good picture.

I love watching him sleep. I know when his is what I call "good and asleep" when he is in this "don't shoot" posture.

He has started swatting and grabbing at toys that are dangled in front of him, so he loves this mat. He is enamored with Pippin.

These are just some great ones with Kevin.

Payoff

2009-08-22T11:43:00.002-04:00

30 family members in 7 days--Jude's 1st Month

2009-08-01T09:10:00.014-04:00

The three of us travelled to Atlanta for my brother's wedding last week... by car... 18 hours driving. Actually, the trip down was pretty uneventful. Jude slept most of the time peacefully with stops in between to eat. We won't talk about the return trip.

The hard part about travelling with a 4 week old baby is that, well, I just didn't know what in the world I was doing yet. We were still trying to figure each other out, so there were definitely some anxious moments when I wondered if he was going to be alright. He really did amazingly well, and having my Texas family in town to meet him was priceless. He also met his Papa (my dad), his Grandmom (Kevin's mom), and his Grandad (Kevin's dad) for the first time.

The story in photos..

We stayed with Kevin's mom for the first 3 days in town. This was the first time she met Jude. Kevin's two brothers and their wives were in town as well. This was the first time in several years that all three brothers have been together.

Grandmom loved rocking Jude. She introduced the pacifier to him, which has brought sweet peace to our lives.

We went to the Atlanta Aquarium--amazing! Jude slept the whole time in his Magic Sling--this thing has wonderful womb-inducing powers over his little mind.

Cute Pie Everett was so much fun. This is Brian & Noelle's son; they are moving from California to England while Brian attends Cambridge this Fall.

Uncle Scott. Scott & Brooke are missionaries and are in the states for just 6 months. They are coming up to NJ next month to spend a couple weeks with us.

Aunt Brooke

The second half of the week we stayed at my dad's house. This was their first time meeting Jude and we also had a whole bunch of Texas family staying with us. It was such a blessing to introduce Jude to practically the whole Conley family.

Mimi & Papa

Ok, this is for real. There is a facial trait (some may say tick) that the Conley's are prone to--I'll call it the Conley Brow. Dad and Bekah, and who knows who else, have the ability to raise just one eyebrow. This somehow skipped my generation, but that's ok because it has apparently passed to my son. No sooner had my dad taken a first look at his new grandson, did Jude's right eyebrow arch upwards. I mean, we both noticed it at the same time. It was like my dad imbibed his powers down to his grandson at that very moment.

This is the antique bassinet that my dad slept in when he was a baby. He had his engineers refurbish it so that Jude could use it--so sweet.

On Saturday before the wedding we went over to mom's house for a brunch. My Granparents were there as well as my Uncle Dirk. When mom left NJ after Jude was born, she kept telling him not to forget his Oma. I think he definitely remembered her--she was such a good rocker! I'll post pictures from mom's house soon.

We saw Kevin's dad on our way out of Atlanta the last day. Here's Granddad

Gasp...!!

2009-07-15T12:46:00.010-04:00

This is me surfacing for air finally. Wow, constantly caring for an infant is HARD WORK. He is such a great baby and this has been just what we have asked for, we are so grateful for him. I look at him and want to cry in gratitude to the Father for such a precious gift.

The first couple of days were rough. He didn't sleep much and cried a lot the first day. The last couple of weeks have been completely different, though, he sleeps a whole lot now. I guess this is what we have to look forward to--fleeting stages of life from here on out. He sleeps so much now that I just want to hold him all the time. He has moments of quiet alertness that only last a few minutes at a time. Kevin has been enjoying some stare-time in the mornings with him while I get ready for the day. There are those wailing times, though (is it bad that I took 30 seconds to get a picture of this instead of trying to console him? This mouth had to be documented.)

A rare quiet alert moment..

This is his "drunk on milk" face, he's quite a lush...

He sleeps on his side and will roll over if I place him down on his back. He's so cute with his arm tucked under his head. At the hospital immediately after he was born, the nurse put him next to me on his back while she checked him out and he promptly rolled over onto his side. She was surprised and laughed.

He makes the funniest faces--from looks of disgust to what seem like wide grins, he keeps us laughing. I love his little lips--they pucker up in the cutest way. He purses them like an old man who has seen something he disapproves of. When he blinks, his eyelids crinkle up. He hardly has any eylashes or eyebrows, but has a full head of light brown hair, like Kevin's. When he yawns he strains his neck upwards so that he looks like a little hungry bird.

The disapproving pucker...

Little birdie...

I love watching Kevin with him. There are different emotions that a man experiences with his child and I see those coming out in him. Things like protectiveness and the desire to provide and care for both of us have been the things on his heart these days. He worries that he isn't doing enough, but I don't know what I would do without him. he has waited on me hand and foot and has changed far more diapers than I have. He gave him his first bath and checks him over carefully to makes sure he is alright. Nothing can mesmerize Jude like Kevin's original number, "Jude is a Dude in a Mood." I love seeing the dad in Kevin.

Sweet...

A lively little jig...

Oma came to visit the second week, and it was such a huge help. She rocked him to sleep and I got to catch up on a little sleep. It's really helpful to have a third person around during the first couple of weeks since I was still recovering from the birth. He loves her already!!

I have to admit that I'm not quite feeling like a human being again, but I'm getting there. this has been a hard and wonderful few weeks--there is nothing I can compare it to. Jude is hanging out in my lap watching me write this and I can see that he has no expectations of me. I, on the other hand, feel the weight of this office greatly. Whether he knows it or not, his little life is a great gift and one that will require much of us. The real greatness is in the Giver, though. Don't we all have little lives? The Father makes tiny things great.

Came and Went

2009-06-15T09:04:00.010-04:00

My due date, that is. It's funny how, even though I vowed not to take too much notice of the due date, I now feel like I'm "late" somehow. Kevin really thought Jude would come this weekend and all day on Sunday he was asking me how I was feeling. I think for the first time "fine" or "good" wasn't what he wanted to hear.

We decided that it may be a good idea to do a little diaper-changing run through before we met Jude, and I'm glad we did! I, of course, let Kevin go first so that I could observe the trial and error before having to make an attempt of my own. Neither of us have much experience with diapers, and since we are using cloth, there aren't many who can show us the ropes. Unfortunately I didn't have the camera on for our first lame attempts that ended rather badly with a half-diapered bunny. After looking at some tutorials online, here are the happy results...

Stellar job, Kevin!

Worshipper of God

2009-05-08T09:39:00.002-04:00

For those who doubted that this baby would have a name before his birthday, we are happy to announce that, in fact we have come to a decision. After wading through hundreds of names that were thrown on the cutting room floor, we picked up again one of the originals - a first thought from the adoption days. So, 'here goes'...

Jude Chastain Pounds

The criteria? Simply this; nothing too common, nothing to crazy, something with meaning, and with limited monikers. Jude means "worshipper of God; or thanks, gratitude, praise" and we have been praying over him that he would be a worshiper of God in the sense of his name. If I could sum up my feelings about this child into one word, it would be gratitude, so the name is for me as well.

Chastain is a dear family name that has meaning to both of us. It's Kevin's mother's maiden name, who is from an historic Atlanta family. Many roads, parks and landmarks are named Chastain in the Atlanta area where we both grew up. Living in NJ now, it appealed to us to use this familiar name that was so present in our childhood, just to give him a little family perspective. We are also happy to honor Kevin's mother, Evelyn, since she passed on to him such a rich heritage of prayer and faithfulness.

One more week until my due date, the belly has grown since the last picture:

34 Week Update

2009-05-04T11:31:00.010-04:00

I've neglected to photograph myself at each month of pregnancy as I originally intended. Partly because my camera was not working properly, and partly because, well, I just haven't felt like being in front of a camera. But now, with 6 weeks left to go, I decided a little documentation was in order. Here I am at 34 weeks in all my prenatal glory...

I am feeling really great still, I only have a few minor complaints, not the least of which are my recently ballooned feet. I'm serious, this has been quite the distraction for me over the last 2 weeks. My feet have swollen to unbelievable proportions and by the end of the day, there isn't a shoe in my closet that will contain them. I guess I'm more fascinated than really bothered by it. Having had a pregnancy nearly void of "symptoms," this has been quite an amusement for us. Kevin has been generously massaging them for me every night, I'm sure this has become his favorite nighttime ritual.

I'll leave you with a little cuteness. We put these bird & branch decals up a few weeks ago in the baby room - there's just something about little birdies that I can't resist...

Finn Howard

2009-03-30T15:36:00.005-04:00

I should have posted this last week, but it just occurred to me. My best friend Courtney gave birth to a baby boy on Wednesday March 18th. Four days later she took him to the emergency room when his temperature dropped very low and he was having noticeable trouble eating. By the grace of God, the doctors diagnosed him quickly and were able to begin working to stabilize him. He has a very rare disease, is still very sick, and needs much prayer. If you would like to read about his progress, you can visit this site for updates posted by his Grandmother.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/finnhoward

Grant and Courtney also have a daughter, Maggie, who is so precious. If I could just say one thing about this family it would be that they have an amazing capacity to come together in the middle of trials (of which they have had more than most people) and gain strength from them. I have learned more from Courtney about what it means to be a mother than any book could teach. Please remember them in your prayers that they would feel supported by God, and be strong as a family through this.

"Deep Greens and Blues are the Colors I Choose..."

2009-02-19T08:44:00.021-05:00

Our 20-week ultrasound revealed a definite BOY! I have to say, this Pounds family sure does know how to produce boys, and if the existing Pounds guys are any indication of what ours will be, I am so thankful. Kevin was surprised by the news, I guess he was really expecting a girl to offset the apparent boy-epidemic that is going around our pregnant friends. But, I wasn't surprised. I wouldn't have been surprised either way. Some mothers that I know say that they just knew what gender they were having--either by a divine feeling or by maternal instinct. Well, my maternal instinct was still non-existent, and my feelings yielded a huge question mark, although I didn't mind too much.

It's been about 3 weeks since then, and a lot has changed inside of me. For whatever reason, finding out that we are having a boy has made me feel more than just pregnant; I feel more and more like a mother every day. Naming him has proven to be no small task, I mean, who is he? There is a whole world of thoughts that I have about him that are completely new to me--like, what type of personality will he have? Will he follow Christ once he is old enough to decide? Will he be generous and compassionate like his father? Will he have his mother's insecurities? What kind of man will he be? Even more than these questions I wonder if we can be the kind of parents that invest their whole lives into him, and at the same time, release him to God to be the individual he was created to be.

Deep thoughts aside, we are both filled with so much expectancy and wonder at it all. We are trying to enjoy our alone time while we have it, but we can't wait to see what he looks like! Evelyn says he has my profile :).

Here are some pictures of my baby shower that Evelyn and my mom threw last weekend in Georgia. It was such a special event--most of Kevin's family was there, as well as some of my dearest and oldest friends.

First of all, check out this cake that my mom made

My best friend from Nashville came in with her mother for the shower--Courtney is 34 weeks pregnant and has been such a great source of wisdom and encouragement for me through this

Courtney & her mom, Martha

Here are the ladies that put it all together

This is one of my oldest friends, Ashley. She has a little boy that is three named Dayton

And, oh, the food!

Evelyn read a very sweet poem as well as some scripture

Shannon (my brother's fiance, who will be married in July) and Rebekah (my sister who is getting married in March) were in charge of the games, which included: Guess the Pregnant Lady's Girth (by cutting off a piece of string the same circumferance as my belly), and Shower Bingo.

So many cute presents--this boy will be well clothed

The ladies from Seredipity House in Acworth (where I used to work); Darlene Knight (owner), her granddaughter Mackenzie, and Audrey Wilson.

My mother's best friend Marla, who helped a lot with the shower, Aunt Lily, and Aunt Linda

Cindy, Lynn, Teresa, Kimberley, and Judy

Hattie Moore, who used to be on staff with The Point in NJ--we are hoping she will come back one day!

Audrey, Debbie Jones (Kevin's aunt) & Brandy Bozeman (Kevin's cousin)

Good Birthday, Great Husband

2008-12-22T10:35:00.004-05:00

I turned 30 last week. It's been a really good year, a lot has happened and I'm looking forward to growing into my 30's. Kevin had a couple of things planned for my birthday last Thursday. I knew that we had to be somewhere at a certain time, and when we got in the car and he told me the name of the town, I thought for sure I had guessed our destination.

Highland Park doesn't have much going on by way of nightlife, so I was fairly certain that we were heading to the dance studio for some lessons. While Kevin has this unexplained penchant for dancing (even at the most inopportune times), I am one of those very inhibited people who feels completely self-conscious on a dance floor. When I told him that I "knew" we were going to the dance studio and to please tell me what kind of dance lessons that we were taking, his face said that I had guessed right. He told me we were taking Salsa lessons, and I started to get very nervous. I assured him that I thought it would be fun, but I was just a little tense in anticipation.

We parked and were walking down the street towards the studio and Kevin said, "I just wish you could relax before we go in there." He stepped inside a shop and I followed him in and realized we were in a cute little day spa. When he walked up to the counter and told him that he had an appointment for his wife to get a massage, I was so relieved I couldn't stop myself from crying a little! It was such a nice and relaxing hour, a wonderful surprise and indulgence.

Afterwards we went to a restaurant in New Brunswick called Delta's. They serve true Southern Soul-Food. It was wonderfully fried and familiar. Our favorite was the fried alligator that we had as an appetizer. Here are a couple of not great pictures we took with Kevin's phone at the restaurant.

Baby on the Way...Really

2008-12-14T14:50:00.001-05:00

Most people who read this blog have heard the news already, but I thought I would write an update to our Adoption post from several months ago. After completing the 3-month Fost/Adopt class, the Home Study, the mountain of paperwork, and the Home Inspection, a little surprise came our way in the form of a conversation with our fertility doctor. One round of IVF later and we find ourselves 14 weeks pregnant this week!

Kevin and I had a very definite infertility diagnosis about 8 months ago. We were extremely disappointed, of course, but not devastated. We had confidence that God had a child for us through some means and that it may not be the way we expected. Since we were already underway with the adoption when we found out, we just decided to put everything into that. We were not interested in the costly fertility treatments and we let our doctor know.

We had a follow up appointment with our doctor on the same day as our adoption home study, and we went preparing to close that door. Instead, he offered us an opportunity to participate in a research study that would give us a round of IVF at no cost to us. We were completely stunned and told him that we would talk about it and let him know. I think we both immediately wanted to jump on the opportunity, and that is what we did.

It's hard to describe our feelings on this and explain why we decided to go through with it when we were so sure that fertility treatment was not for us. Maybe having it handed to us on a silver platter was part of the appeal. We had already resigned ourselves to the fact that we would never experience childbirth, and we were sad. I think that if our diagnosis wasn't so certain, it may have been more of a choice for us, but as it was, we decided very quickly that we were being given a once in a lifetime opportunity.

So, no details about the treatment and procedures over the last 4 months, but I will say that I cherished every moment of it, oddly enough. We knew that whatever the outcome was, we would be OK and God would have his way. We consider this whole experience such a gratuitous gift from God, completely undeserved.

Here is an early ultrasound picture from 8 weeks. We are due mid-June. :)

O (Silver Tinsel) Tannenbaum

2008-12-10T12:45:00.005-05:00

We put up our Christmas tree on Thanksgiving, here it is. Yes, silver all year round, this tree is a Christmas miracle..

For the love of your Mercedes, man!

2008-10-24T20:49:00.000-04:00

This is just a funny little story that has since turned into a bitter memory for Kevin. On Saturday we went to a little town in NJ, Clinton, just to walk around and peruse their cute little boutiques. We had parallel parked the Jeep in between a couple of cars (a mighty fine job, Kevin) and we were back in the car looking at our map of where to go next.

The space in front of us was open by this time and a (very) old man in a (very) nice Mercedes pulled up and began what I could tell was destined to be a (very) bad parallel parking job. Just as the words "he's not going to make it" departed from my lips, he smacked into us. I giggled and Kevin gawked as he pulled up for another try. He went at it again with the same gusto and smacked us a second time, but now he was decently in his space. By this time I was outright laughing and Kevin started to roll down his window in anticipation of a "sorry about that" wave or something. Nope, he just got out of the car and wobbled off down the road without a backwards glance. That's life in the big city for you.

The Family Hero

2008-09-11T10:24:00.000-04:00

Most families have ways that they define their members, like, "the wild one" or "the bright one." Sometimes the titles are more descriptive of their occupation like, "the family doctor," or "the family NFL Linebacker." We have those in our family as well (ok, no NFL Linebackers), but recently one of our members made a decision that put him in a league that few belong to.

When Austin decided to leave college and join the Army, I can't say that the family was thrilled. After all, the American Dream is to be educated, employed, married, a homeowner, have 2.6 kids and a Cockapoo, right? I think I can speak for the family when I say that we all wanted the very best for Austin, which in our minds did not include putting his life on the line--for any cause. What we might not have understood was that a soldier is often born inside a man first, even before the first day of boot camp. I know that is what happened in Austin and I am proud of him. I'm proud that he has decided to do something so important, something that most people are afraid of.

Sometimes we look at these young guys enlisting in the military and we think, "they don't know what they are signing up for," or "he is too young to understand the dangers." But really, what they do is to define bravery for us. Every reference of bravery that I can think of from the bible describes a military hero. They...he, Austin, believes in a cause, or at least his role in the cause, so completely that he willingly becomes the defender. He puts his body in front of a man with a gun and faces him so that his family won't ever have to. He may not have understood completely what signing those enlistment papers would mean, but who of us ever does know where we will end up after we take a step of faith? Austin joined the military confident that this was to be his contribution to the world, and I know he still believes that--I believe that.

So, we've called him a lot of names over the years--sweet and maybe not so sweet. To call him our family hero is a name that I think he will wear well. Austin has such an intensity of focus in his calling that he will see it through with excellence. I recognize this in other men and women who have stepped out of the crowd to serve others. Not a civilian like the rest of us, Austin has the weight of his country on his shoulders, but he is strong--God is strong for him.

Austin, I was just thinking about you a lot today, this being a day to remember heros. We love you, we pray for you everyday, we are grateful that you fight for us. Be vigilant, you can rest when you come home. We can't wait to have you on this side of the world again, see you very soon!

(Austin is the 3rd from the left)

The Waiting Room

2008-08-25T15:22:00.000-04:00

Court suggested some baby room pictures, so here they are! I call it the waiting room because I have a hard time imagining what it will be like when a baby lives here. Right now it's the most quiet and still room in the house. It's very small, it's hard to get a good picture of it...

Adopting

2008-08-15T11:43:00.000-04:00

We’ve gotten so many emails and Facebook posts asking if we are pregnant, adopting, fostering—or what? Someone recently even asked me what part of China our baby was coming from. So, I thought I would allay any rumors by writing a little about the process we have been through since we anticipate introducing you to baby Pounds very soon.

The decision to adopt came long ago, even before Kevin and I knew each other. I must have been 13 or 14 when I told my parents that I was not going to have children “of my own” but that I was going to adopt a little girl from China and name her Emma (my favorite Jane Austen book). My mom will remember when I ardently urged her to consider adopting a baby herself!

The details have changed since then, but not the heart that God gave us to adopt a child. I think I had a conversation with Kevin early on in our dating relationship about my intention, and ever since then it has been in his heart as well.

Fast forward 7 years of marriage, and here we are very close to having a baby “of our own.” The journey has been almost a year in the making from our first research and inquiries at adoption agencies, to our decision to adopt from DYFS (NJ’s child welfare system).

Going through DYFS means that any child that we get will be coming from a potential or actual abusive/neglectful situation. It also means that we will be taking the baby on a fostering basis at first with the intent to adopt. DYFS created a program for these babies who will most likely need permanent adoptive homes, and so they place them with people like us who would like to adopt them if their mother is not able to rehabilitate.

Kevin and I believe that the best place for a child to be is with his or her biological parent, as long as it is a safe environment. With that in mind, we will be praying for the biological mother to change her life and make sacrifices so that she can get her baby back. However, we also know that this hardly ever happens and that the baby that we receive will most likely need a permanent home with us. The risk is still there, but we hope that we can bless and help the biological parent any way that we can.

So, that’s the condensed version. As of this past Friday our home study and inspection have been approved and we are officially in wait mode. It could literally be any day now, we are trying to be patient!

Now for the fun details: we don't know the gender, we don't know the race, we won't be able to change their name until the adoption is final, the adoption won't be finalized sooner than 12 months, we do know that it will be a baby under 3 months old.

Thank you so much for your prayers and inquiries, we hope to have a new story to tell very soon.

The Original Pippin

2008-08-07T13:16:00.000-04:00

We have a great dog. I had a dream last night that made me laugh at my lofty opinion of him.

In my dream, Kevin and I lived in an apartment community. One day I was walking around outside and I found a little lost puppy that looked like a baby Pippin. On his collar I found 2 tags: one said the puppy's name, and the other had this inscription:

"This dog is believed to be the direct descendant of the original Pippin."

After talking to some neighbors, I realized that while Pippin had been sowing his wild oats among the neighborhood, his offspring had been so widely approved of that a new breed was born.

I would like to introduce to you... the Original Pippin:

Citified Foraging

2008-08-03T10:56:00.000-04:00

After our home inspection on Monday, our social worker told us that if we had any travel or entertainment plans for the near future, we had better do it this weekend. I had been wanting to check out some local organic farms, so I broadened my search area a little so we could get further out of town for a night. We jumped in the car on Friday evening and headed North towards the Catskills in NY, Pippin in tow.

We were just so glad to be out of New Brunswick for a couple of days, we always comment how, the tension just melts away the further we drive. Saturday morning we first drove to a remote farm in some tiny town not on the map where they raised grass fed beef, pork and chickens. The farmer was British, married to a Southerner, formerly an investment banker who said he just wanted to do something a little more "labor intensive." He had a little farm stand in a red barn where he sold frozen cuts of meat, eggs, and honey.

He pointed us to a dairy farm just down the road and we headed there next. This was great, we thought they would have some kind of store or something, but it was basically just the farm with a small processing plant. We lucked out and met the owner's daughter and she agreed to give us a tour of the farm/plant. Did you know that homogenized milk could be the cause of a lot of people's lactose intolerance? She gave us some unhomoginized milk in a glass bottle--so good. We also learned that the milk that comes out of the cow is first separated into cream and skim milk, and then the cream is added back to the skim milk to create 1% and 2%. She loaded us up with ice cream, chocolate milk, butter, and their very popular label of drinkable yogurt. Moooo

On our way to our next stop we passed a vineyard and took a detour. It was a small family owned winery and we walked around briefly and bought some of their table white wine. It was very scenic.

Our last destination was a creamery and farm that made their own cheeses. We watched some of the cheese making process behind a glass wall and sampled their 9 types of cheese. We bought a couple that resemble Parmesan and sharp cheddar and also some swiss chard from their garden. After Pippin was nearly attacked by the farm pheasants, we ran for the car.

It was such a great trip, we had a leisurely pace and came home laden with organic food. Check out this book, if you are interested The Omnivore's Dilemma, http://www.michaelpollan.com/omnivore.php. In it, he lists a great website where you can find organic farms near you: http://www.eatwild.com/.

URBAN PLUNGE

2008-07-31T13:01:00.000-04:00

From July 21-26, we had our first "Urban Plunge" with the Point Church in New Brunswick. It was one part mission trip, one part urban education, and one part retreat with approximately 50 teens and college students from Georgia, California, and NJ involved. Basically we took all the community service stuff we do as a congregation and "super-sized" it for a week. They dove in head first by helping with New Brunswick's PlaySAFE program (think 200 hyper kids in a gym), Elijah's Promise Soup Kitchen, and running a huge block party. So many of the at-risk kids in our community got a glimpse of how much Jesus loves them and I cannot wait to see the long-term ripple effects of this week. During the week we saw 5 kids embrace Jesus as their Savior.

For me one of the most gratifying moments happened a few days later. I have a good friend who I've been talking to about Jesus for almost 2 years. He's had a tough life and has confessed to having trust issues with God and people. Many people from the Point have loved and served him, and the week at Urban Plunge was the final push he needed. He told me outside of Starbucks just a few days ago that he had given his life to Jesus. Seeing the faith in action of so many people convinced him more than anything that God was worth trusting. God is good!

New Blog

2008-07-30T10:47:00.000-04:00

In preparation for our new Pounds family member, we have taken the first step in creating a blog. Now, let's see if we'll be faithful to it...